My most recent post was about how thankful I am that my scoliosis was detected early. I am thankful every day that I was put in a brace at age 11. Now I am going to write about some of the things I would rather forget. My nieces are all starting to grow into wonderful young ladies now, but they are in those years that I think of as "the terrible years" . You all know the years I am talking about..... Ages 11-15 give or take a few years. The years you so desperately want to grow up but also deep down wish you weren't to big to cuddle with your mom.
During those years every emotion is magnified times a hundred, because of hormones, but you don't really understand what hormones even are... You just feel awful. You want to cry about everything but know full well you are much to grown up to cry. I try to remember these feelings with my nieces and other young ladies and pray for them.
My terrible years were also confusing because I also had a brace. My first brace was a Boston brace. It started at my hips and went to my chest. It rose a little higher in the back. People couldn't tell it was there really, but my clothes all had to fit over it so I couldn't wear anything that was not really baggy. I was already awkward, and I felt even more awkward with my brace.
The second brace I was put in at age 13 was a Milwaukee brace. The Milwaukee brace started at my hips and then had metal parts that went all the way to my chin. There was no hiding the fact that I wore a brace. Even when I wore a turtle neck the brace could still be seen jutting out through my clothes. I have never been much for fashion, but during those years when everyone around you thinks what you wear and how you look is what matters I stuck out worse than a sore thumb.
I once asked a camp counselor why God made me have scoliosis. I don't even remember who that counselor that was, but I can remember her answer. She said she didn't know. She said God is so much bigger than our box we try to put Him in. She said that she didn't know why I had scoliosis but God has a much bigger plan than right here and right now. She said that trusting the God who created everything is hard when we have struggles, but it easy when you try to think about how it would be on your own. She also shared James 1:1-2. Which I memorized. She also said that some day I might see why scoliosis was a good thing for me.
Today I can see the good, I work with people with disabilities. My wearing a brace taught me patience. I had to wear it 23 hours a day for four and a half years. I also learned what it like to be judged because of a physical deformity. These things have helped me greatly in caring for the people I serve. Could God have thought me those things in another way? Yes, he is God, he can do anything. Would I want him to? Absolutely not. Even though those years were very difficult. I learned so much and became the person I am today because of them.
